♥ : breakdown.helpless.
ytd.080808
wat a nice date n it shld be a nice day.
but not to me.
i breakdown.
i controlled n forced myself not to.
but when i went to toilet alone to chill down, the cruel tear rolled down my cheek.
it stopped after awhile n i'm gladed tt it stopped.
cuz i dun wanna let the whole world noe tt i've cried.
especially my grp members.
no matter how bad i felt i still hav to move on cuz they r waiting fr me to guide them.
but the thing is when i cant even guide myself how am i going to guide them???
i'm really stressed.
i gt nobody to rely on to.
not even my close frens.
i'm feeling extrememly helpless here.
n nobaody is willing to help me.
not even my frens too.
so hu can i expect to seek help from?
they still threat me like enemy even when i reached my limit to crying.
i understand, my fren.
we r in the diff grp how can ur possibly betray ur grp rite?
i nv blame ur fr not helping me.
i jux felt very helpless n dissappointed wif myself.
when i felt like crying, the first person i tot of is u.
i hope tt u can take a good look of me.
if i'm still feeling alright or not.
n i realised tt u really r.
cuz i caught a few glimsp of u looking at me.
i really nd tt at tt moment, thx my dear.
u make me feel tt there is still someone out there tt care abt me.
care about my feeling, my mood.
n those concerning words.
"aeh giv me a smile leh..."
n u noe wat? u r the oni one hu said tt to me.
thx lotz, n i really love u man.
cuz my frens dun even say tt to me.
but was tt jux a fren to fren concern?
i guess my close frens dun even realised tt i nd someone beside me badly.
when i look at ur back, i really feel like hugging u thightly.
i dunno if i've fell in love wif u.
but i wanted to tell u tt actually i've fell on u fr a long long time.
i dun wanna let u noe cuz i tot u hav gf oready.
now tt i noe u r single, i hope tt u will realise my existence.
i really nd a hug badly, especially urs. =)
looking frward to mon to see u.
missing ur cheerfulness n ur conv wif me.
stay focus@3:29 AM
THIS IS REALLY CRAZY OK !!!
i slept for 1 and a 1/2 hr on tues night, this is really crazy leh. n u noe wat i was doing? MTV for VC. aiyo this is really ridiculous leh. I nv expect it to be so hard in the sense tt it is so time consuming, really! I spend 3+ hr doing it n i realised tt i oni finished 1 min. oh my gosh...wat is this mann? 3+ hrs fr jux 1 min aiyoyoyo. n the worst thing is some prob came out. Actually we did some parts in sch oready den i wanted to continue it at home la, den when i'm adding some video, i accidentally pressed something which until now i still dunno wat did i pressed hahax ok. den the best thing comes, the video n song still there but when i play the video it is not the wan i did. wat does tt means den? it means tt wat me n beth hav been doing the afternoon is all gone. so all the best to me lor n i'm not prepared to stay up fe the rest of the day ubtil this prob arise, dam sian diao sia. haiz prob here n there.
haiz n den my OC jux gave me a freak mann cuz i knew this wk confirm not my turn one den a lot of them were like saying maybe i will be presenting oso. haiz den i go rush my ppt for my oc sad sia den my marker rendering is really not very gd sia.
kk extremely tired sia. go slp le.=)
stay focus@9:51 AM
